By Zethu Zwane
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Your circle of friends matter because they can bring either happiness or heartbreak. Growing with your friends is such an enjoyable experience. The best of friends are able to open the veils of your eyes to show you what you can’t see. This is why friendships are so important.
They greatly influence your growth. And so growth is such an enjoyable experience. Growth helps you change your perspective. For instance you could be praying to God to increase your salary. Yet after experiencing the influence of Godly friends, you’ll see that you need more than a budget.
Your Friend Circle Matters
Increasing how often you praise God shows you the veils of your mind. Was your mind previously filled with worry and fear? I recently learned there’s a fear that’s a sin and fear that God cleanses. Sometimes you’re living in both of these spectrums due to your friends, family or community.
The kinds of beliefs endorsed become memorable messages. The fear that’s a sin is when God answers yours prayers about your finances by showing you how to budget, but you go back to mindless spending. Your Circle of Friends Influence who You Become.
The right friends circle helps you see your life constructively. Firstly Godly friends show you that when Christ is your sole provider, you have more enough. You can use Godly friends’ testimonies as evidence of the goodness of God. I saw the Goodness of God while watching and experiencing church moms’ lives.
Godly Communities Are Dressed in the Goodness of God
My church moms could have easily talked about the success of their husband’s careers like other moms I met, but they didn’t. They could have easily walked me through their homes, but they didn’t. They could have easily displayed the finest China, but they didn’t.
Even when they did all this, I saw Christ living within them than their possessions. The church moms I hold close to my heart lived fully for Christ. Seven years of watching them motivated my yearning to personal relationship with Christ.
As opposed to bad friends who normalize and make it a culture to spend and waste away your life. Bad Friends claw onto titles, possessions believing it will free them. Bad Friends believe a boyfriend or marriage will free them. A bad friends lives for heartbreak because the truth is possessions won’t help you dif your identity.
A marriage won’t won’t you find your purpose. Instead seeking Christ first will help you understand how marriage is purposeful. Seeking Christ will turn your home into a beacon of hope. This is what their homes became for me.
What if You have No Idea what a Good Friend Looks Like?
Realizing the beauty of Godly friends will give you joy. They’ll inspire you to see God has already provided all you need. As a result, growth can also highlight areas where you need to be grateful. Contrast all of this with a friend who’s toxic.
Let’s say you’re here right now, and have no idea what a church mom is. Your friend group is so a mix of good, bad and questionable. If that’s you right now then you need to learn important boundaries and actions to take around toxic friends.
Untangling Fearful Sins
Learning to untangle fearful sin is a Lifelong process. That’s because your culture can normalize it in one aspect. Take finances; I believe finances is one of the biggest fearful sins. It exposes our struggles to trust and surrender. It shows that many of us are still not surrending to God as the provider. Now compare this when surrounded by friends who refuse to save, but live for loans.
This is when our life narratives becomes fearful sins. In prayer, God can show you His provision, but memorable messages will encourage you to go for that loan. As opposed to worring about paying for school, or your house and car because your pay is low bring these worries to God. That’s when you can turn a pervasive narrative into a powerful testimony. It’s not a sin because we’ve all faced these worries before.
Again when you’re surrounded by toxic friends, they’ll steal this promise. The promise that God is willing anf able to do exceedingly and above your imagination. That’s how I felt when I received $5,000, but friends wanted to go for loans.
Remove Beliefs that Create Worry
Certain friends and damily members will ma feel what you have is not enough. This reprated message becomes malicious ny blinding you from God’s goodness. As if $5,000 wasn’t enough. That’s also how I felt when God retrieved my stolen $2,000. Experiencing such groups will distort your beliefs. At the same time you don’t need friends to worry about your life purpose or circumstances.
What you need is better life boundaries. That’s because Jesus also prayed to God 2 times about dying on the Cross. The final prayer Jesus says Your will not mine. This acknowledged God’s plans are always perfect.He also acknowledged that God will provide the most perfect outcome.
How can you do this surrounded by toxic messages? Easy by surrendering these words words God. Tell Him you want to believe in your life, but your flesh is weak. You only know bad.
But don’t stop there’s. Make Bible journaling your 15 minute habits per day. Your best solution is doing an extensive study on the names of Christ. That’s because you’ll find success from not focusing on you. Instead learn who exactly is this El Shaddai in order to see how that relates to your life.
However, Jesus situation is very different yo because He sacrificed his entire body to give you eternal life. His resurrection gave power to diminish the devil and every power within it. His blood has power and through speaking, chains are broken.
When Your Beliefs Clash with Your Friends
So yeah your life is eternally better because of Christ. Now what do you do when your personal relationship increases, but your friends are still chained in worry. What do you do when your life is becoming peaceful because you trust God, but you friends are fearful.
I’ve got a list of ideas for the friend who becomes increasingly worse the more you heal and grow. Firstly remember they were always like this. You were like them before you decided sought out a personal relationship with Christ.
As a result the best plan of action you can do for your friends is pray for them. If you find your friend and you can’t relate because you’re changing, pray for them. Quitting on friends doesn’t help your growth because you need to learn unconditional love.
Surrender Your Relationship to God
Praying for your friend is also a reminder to leave them in God’s hands. If God can do transformative changes in your life, how much more your friend. You’ve also had someone praying for you. Whether you belonged to a church or not. There’s always a Godly person praying for more people to experience the love only Living God.
That means your prayers can transform a person’s life or community. Use your prayer time to invite God into your friendships. Ask God to give you the words to speak around them thay will move your friends’ hearts. Have you ever had someone speak to you and they somehow answered a prayer? As a child of God, you’ve got the authority to do the same in someone’s life.
Ask God to be that person for your friend’s life. Finally pray for their spiritual, physical and emotional protection. Being a testimony in people’s lives a no small thing; it’s beyond your imagination. If your life can be a beacon to change a friend’s life, use prayer to gain this victory.
Don’t put a timeline on it.
I’ve met Christian mentors who seem to have a set time for my breakthrough. The problem with this I found them becoming inpatient, yelling and sometimes giving up on me. You can tell when someone is no longer interested in talking to you. I was like wow; “I didn’t sign up to feel like a burden,” before quitting the Bible study.
Similarly, your friend doesn’t need you to check on their breakthrough. That’s God’s role. Let go of any expectations to change your friend’s heart and enjoy their company. As long as they are not a bad friend who ridicules you or encourages you to live in sin, stay with that friend.
If you find them worrying more in one season, do what any couple would. They do nonspeaking activities like hiking, paintball or going to the movies. If you find yourself overwhelmed by thir negativity an activity will help. Learning to love friends no matter the season is the best way to learn unconditional love. When your friend is in a bad place emotionally, find activities that removing a lot of talking.
Healthy Boundaries Deepen How You Comfort Friends in a Bad Place
I personally like outdoor activities because I found some negative friends will target you. They don’t mean to do it, but sometimes they need an outlet and you’re around. So pick an activity like hiking, the movies, paintball or swimming.
Before you argue saying I’m a hypocrite when I just said remove bad friend Listen up! Bad friends who are constantly manipulative whether they are in a good or bad place should go. This kind of person is permanently like this, and you can pray for them away from you. However staying with a bad friend like that will only harm your confidence. It also created a toxic codependency.
Codependency is when your friendship is unequal. For me I had one manipulative friend who believed I could succeed as long as it’s less than hers. That’s when I saw bad friends know how to hide insults in compliments. Read the articles so you learn how they ruin your confidence every day. These kinds of bad friends need to go.
Be Prepared for Hard Conversations
Now that’s We’ve clarified this, anyone can have a bad season. There was a point when people just ghosted me and blocked me after a hard conversation. I laughed, questioning so are we no longer allowed to disagree. A healthy relationship has disagreements. That’s because we all have different love languages, and you’ll need to clarify from time to time.
It’s okay for people to tell you they feel lonely in your presence. That means you’re not meeting their love language. As a result you should celebrate when your friends teach you their love languages. Don’t get disappointed when someone shows you how they want to be loved.
That includes friends going through a difficult season. Conversely, you also don’t want to exhaust yourself. Encourage them to attend church with you or a short church summer camp. If your church is similar to mine where girls stay in one place, invite your friend to join you during a short evening prayer.
Socializing your friend into a group of people who are seeking God like you takes off the pressure. It also motivates your friend to see there’s more people living a peaceful and fulfilling life like you. They’ll get to hear more testimonies from other changed lives.
Remove Any Expectations for Immediate Change
Again don’t pressure your friend by asking what they think. Allow them to experience your group without pressure. Switch things up by taking them out for coffee with 2 girls or even wine tasting with just 2 other girls.
Your Friend may never change this year or in the next 3 years. However, your life is still a testimony to so many. I didn’t realize this until 3 girls came up to me and said they loved how I always smiled. I worked under a lot of pressure, but they always saw my smile.
What they were seeing is the peace of God over my life. I got asked about it alot as if it’s some sweet pill you take. But all I did was pray and trust in God. Sometimes thats all people need; a living testament even when you down feel like you’re one. I would tell them I cried all evening. Sometimes they saw me crying, but I always found peace. So people will naturally become curious how I bounced back so fast.
Even when you feel you don’t deserve to be one, you’re always a testimony. Seeing you can change people’s lives, learn to relax. Keep praying to be a beacon of hope in all you do. And becoming a beacon of hope allows
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