By Zethu Zwane
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On Black Couture, we strongly encourage you to evaluate your Circle of friends as a start to building your life purpose. If you’re wondering why friends matter, we’ll that’s because friends are uour first intimate relationship. People tend to focus on how boyfriends, husband or wives change you.
They notice small things like “Wow you’ve become more confident,” or “what happened, you’ve lost yourself.” And it’s true family and friends will have a tremendous influence on you, but they don’t have to have the final say. This is why your friend groups are so important. You want peopel who encourage and motivate you, and not encourage you to switch purpose with the wind.
I’ve already described how to respond to friends who constantly change life goals, but today let’s unpack one of the Proverbs and how gaining wisdom and intellectual leads to a life of Breakthroughs. It will deliver you sustainable growth and abundant confidence. As always all growyh begins with Yahweh, making the Proverbs you go to source for all things purpose.
Finding Your Purpose begins with Your Friend Group
My series on toxic friends, nonsensical beliefs and forgiveness should help you with determining the right mix of friends. The right mix includes your ride-or-die friend, your coffee friend and networking friend. And it’s true you need Godly friends not just friends. You’ll hardly look at your friends as your first intimate relationship, but they really are your first.
Essentially giving your friends the power to be able to influence your beliefs. Your friends shape who you are, so knowing this and conforming this in the Bible demonstrates that friendships should be the first thing you evaluate in your life. Don’t wait 18 years like I did to finally figure it out; do it now.
Remember the friend who used to say I can be successful as long as it’s not as successful as her? Or I’m beautiful but less than her? Or I’ve got a great body, just less than hers? Listening to these memorable messages contributed to my lack of self worth. Turns out such friends are manipulative, toxic and controlling.
No matter how many gifts they shower you with, it comes with limitations. See you don’t have to date to know what’s emotional abuse. However, you do need need break free from such people so that you can get on that path of living a life of Breakthroughs.
Fearing The Lord
Is The start of all wisdom, and your life of Breakthroughs. To fear God is not to live in fear because some fears are a sin. So no God says to fear Him is to magnify Him as the Supreme Ruler of heaven and earth. He has no counsel. He needs no advisors, and so acknowledging this should encourage you to celebrate.
Celebrate that you have an awesome Saviour as Ruler over your life. Knowing this should encourage you to rever Him with Surrendering respect that God knows more than you. Surrendering to God with respect allows you to live out Godly values within His Kingdom practices and not the world’s.
The World tells you to date, the world tells you to idolize successful people and success. Yet Revering God means all wisdom, peace, hope abundance comes from Him. And as Supreme Ruler of heaven and earth, there’s nothing that will ever defeat the Lord as He’s even defeated death.
There’s nothing like the Lord Jesus Christ. So yes respecting God will take time because many of your ideas of respect are limited to your upbringings and your own conclusion. I’ll admit, I didn’t like the idea of tithing because I saw misleading ideas around tithing.
Listen to The Bible More than what People Say
Too often you’ll read about pastors charging people as if to coarse someone into paying tithes. However, by experiencing God, I was reminded that my life is to live out my life for God and what He commands. However if I make it my responsibility to judge pastors and churches on how they tithe, I’m making myself’s God’s advisor.
God didn’t say this to me exactly. It was actually learning who God is that made me realize I was trying to be His advisor. God in all His power, judges everyone, so your purpose shouldn’t be o correct whats wrong with people, but Follow what God has outlines.
Unless God calls you to fight injustice like He did with me. Still don’t become the judge, but commit to the work. Reason being God has been fighting false beliefs like ungodly affirmations , or bad tithing before you and me. There’s story a story in the Bible where a couple dies for cheating God on an offering. So part of your purpose shouldn’t be to judge what’s wrong, but to live out what’s right.
Reading the Bible is the Only way to remove false beliefs
In that case reading the Bible us your source to learning how to gain a purpose from living out the proverbs. Another area where you’ll need to clean up is ungodly beliefs. Since I had believed in something ungodly, I wanted to know what is Godly. Then living out Godly steps, one small steps at a time, made me realize tithing should be my expression celebrating God.
Building His church through tithing is one of the many ways I demonstrate my love for God. That’s the same for you. If you’re surrounded with negative beliefs on anything God, read the Bible. After all He has done for you, His never ending love, unfailing favor and continuous support, you should also contribute to His kingdom. Yet let’s put tithing aside because that’s a whole seperate topic.
Let’s focus on how respecting God is the beginning of all wisdom. I want to use dating since love and love stories surround us every day. Similar to when I didn’t tithe because of judging others, dating is a sin that people have normalized.
Identifying normalized sin is part of your purpose finding
I can’t say people are acting like God’s advisors by editing what God says about premarital sex, but to some degree they are. Since many people say dating brings you wisdom, they’re actually disregarding God’s command on dating an premarital sex. Theyve actually gone against His word because God says it leads to death.
One meaning of death here is misleading beliefs like men are trash. You wouldn’t believe in this if you wait on the right man from God. Yet people blur these lines by encouraging you to date now. People have endorsed you to move into boyfriend’s house.
They endorse girlfriends to cook, clean and iron for their boyfriends like a wife. They say performing these acts demonstrate you are the ideal woman for this man. Yet this distorts the authority of a man, and desecrates a woman’s submission. Did the Bible say submit to your 5 boyfriends, or to your 1 husband?
The Bible Definitely Has a Story Contradicting Normalized Sins
Did the Bible tell men to exercise his authority over a girlfriend by making her cook, clean and iron? Yet youll be confronted by a world that tells you in order to be a suitable wife, you should cook, iron and clean for a boyfriend. Then what of that verse that says when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing? There’s nothing about a girlfriend there.
The authority of the husband is not what is normalized in some African counties. Some woman say “if he doesn’t cheat in your face, he’s a faithful man,” yet how does this express true transformation of a man under God? Thats not transformation;that normalized sin. You see once you’ve chose God and fear and rever God, you can’t hold the same cultural beliefs as you’ll experience around you.
Marriage is a reflection of God and His people. God is a jealous God and commands your full commitment, loyalty and love. Yet how can you live all this out when you’re endorsing men to cheat? It’s It’s sad when you believe that cheating men is natural.
Again not when you’ve encountered the true Living God. And more so surrendered your past in order to gain a life of Breakthroughs There’s evidence throughout the Bible that God is at war with the cheating Isreal, and if a husband is to be the without head like God, he should not be cheating.
The Bible Will Describe the Right Values vs The Worst Values
He should be an expression of commitment, loyalty and unconditional love. Consequently thr right man can only live this out by fully revering God, reading the Bible and studying His Word. Likewise you’ll be able to make better intimate relationships once you fully rever God, have a close and intimate relationship with Christ.
I was fortunate to have a committed father, and I’m also fortunate to experience an intimate relationship with Christ. That’s because both experiences, more so my relationship with God showed me that cheating men is a lie endorsed by the devil. Sadly it’s a promoted lie that’s splashed across magazines, TV and social media.
Brining me to my next point, you can’t rever God if you don’t know Him. What I love the most about God is every season brings you another breakthrough. You may be believing that you should cook and iron for a man, but an intimate relationship with Christ will bring a new passion in your spirit.
Why experience so many glorious moments with Christ, but be reduced to a cheating man? That sounds like chump change. Yet what’s more important is that intimate relationship with Yahweh delivers you new wisdom, better choices and renewed Godly values. Since you didn’t think ironing was a sin a relationship with God will change this.
Reading The Bible Will Show You God’s Way of Living
It will awaken you like the time Jesus asked for water from the Samaritan woman by the water hole. During the conversation He asked her about her 5 husband’s, calling out her sin not to judge her but to save her. What I love most about Christ is when He speaks to your sin, you’ll experience love and not condemnation.
At first it won’t feel like love because the exposure leaves us dirty and shameful. Those are your feelings not God. Instead I encourage you to push through those difficult emotions. Acknowledge that God is not punishing you for a sin you didn’t know. God doesn’t punish us for something we didn’t know.
He’ll purify you through wisdom and a redirection. However if you’re like those Toxic friends who enjoy heartbreak, then that’s when God disciplines you in order for you to turn away from this heartbreaking lifestyle. We all have a choice.
Choose a Purposeful Life
Do you choose to continue living in sin just because those overseas trips with men are nice? Do you choose to continue living in sin just because it’s easy to get loans? Disregarding the Lord will only lead to heartbreak. That’s why I describe those kinds of people as blind flies swarming around rotten meat.
They might believe they’re living abundantly, but they’re blinded by false ideas, idols and money. Fearing God is not a limitation. It’ll save you and bring you on a path of Breakthroughs. You deserve to marry a Godly man rooted in beliefs anchored in Christ.
You deserve transformation, and that means enjoying the discipline that comes with changing. Change is easy when you respect, love and trust God. You’ll only achieve any of these by surrounding yourself with a Godly community. I say Godly not Christian because there are Christians who believe it’s okay for men to cheat. They hist divorce parties like unbelievers.
So no, I want the best for your life. And the greatest gift is joining a Godly community. Find Godly friends who’ll help you see that Loving God is the start to a life of miracles. It’s a life of Breakthroughs.
Breaking away from false ideas and heartbreaking beliefs. Do it now. You dont have to know it all, but I’m confident by inviting God into your life you’ll see wonderful and unimaginable things.
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