By Zethu Zwane
Thank You Lord God for saying no to what I thought I could Handle. I’ve learned in this season God’s ways are not your ways. Yahweh’s thoughts are not your thoughts. And you’ll need to go through deep waters to grow to build character. Your purpose requires you to increase and strengthen your faith to know God’s will for you. What was difficult for me was knowing Yahweh Jireh’s purpose for me, but living in the present. I’m grateful today El Shaddai made me wait. Elohim timing is perfect. Here’s more of why I love God like a circle today.
Here’s the truth of this journey; it’s been a bumpy journey to increasing my faith, test my intentions and refine my reasons. I used to believe my life plans and goals were great: to support your family and hire many low-income workers who are longterm unemployed.
To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.
Proverbs 16:1-2 NIV
That sounds like an excellent goal right? True, but it needed God’s hand to mold, purify and transform. I also needed to go through deep waters to build endurance, perseverance and character. Any time God works on your character, it’s build you up, and give you a heart more like Christ Jesus
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
Honestly I struggled with the idea of persevering and enduring. Thats because once I started to accept the purpose God had for me, it was hard living in the present. This is one of the biggest challenges for many christians; having to endure in the unknown or present when you know God already delivered you. God always wins.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. The Lord works out everything to its proper end— even the wicked for a day of disaster.
Proverbs 16:3-4 NIV
As a result, I also wanted to empower in a way I was never empowered. I wanted to create a high performance culture. Yet these good intentions weren’t enough. Theres parts of your heart that lie, and that’s 1 reason why God makes you wait. You still need the faith to build endurance, perseverance, trust and faith in God.
Finally accepting God’s will for my life, and trying to rush the process!
For that reason I received God’s promise for my life with excitement. It’s something precious when God shows you your destiny 10+ years before it’s fulfillment. It’s exciting to know God’s got something for you. He’s answered why you exist. This is true for you and It’s something precious when God shows you world events to match your path.
Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. [3] You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, for things too wonderful for me to know.
Job 42:1-3 NIV
Thinking I have strength for God’s promise
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One of the biggest misconception is thinking your own talent brings success. You would think receiving a blessing is a result of your own works. Wow thank You Father for saying no when I thought I needed it. Similarly God will withhold answers in your life until you’ve been purified of your previous ideas. Then you’ll see clearly that allsuccess comes from God’s strength working in you.
However, when God doesn’t answer, it’s because He wants to refine your reasons. There’s also the issue of idolising this goal in the sense that by receiving this answered prayer, you’d worship the blessing instead of God.
But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.
1 Cor 15:10 KJV
I learned this the previous years when God brought 3 shields to protect me from being bullied or harmed. At some point I found myself praising them for helping me. I focused on them. I loved them. I wanted to know whether they like coffee or tea. I wanted them to be my mentors because they were powerful women.
And they will go to others and say, ‘I have sinned, I have perverted what is right, but I did not get what I deserved. God has delivered me from going down to the pit, and I shall live to enjoy the light of life.’ “God does all these things to a person— twice, even three times— to turn them back from the pit, that the light of life may shine on them. “Pay attention, Job, and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak.
Job 33:27-31 NIV
I also never really liked women because women tend to fight over petty things like “My lipstick brand is better than yours,” so I’ve had majority guy friends to avoid petty wars. Yet men don’t have emotionally comforting conversations, so I really appreciated these female shields. God positioned them to see my intelligence, but I ended up admiring them.
Worshipping the people God sent as shields
Ironically I didn’t realize I was worshipping the shields and not the God who brought them until my third shield. In her natural state she’s more concentrated on larger projects and use to brush us off. However, when she helped, she only helped once and refused to be involved again. Only difference is her absence didn’t stop God’s glory.
Friends, why are you doing this? We too are only human, like you. We are bringing you good news, telling you to turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and everything in them.
Acts 14:15 NIV
God continued to do unbelievable things that could only be explained by His authority and not human intervention. I received bad news on Friday, but come Monday morning, God poured out good news after good news after good news. I was in awe and in love with His victory. Truthfully when God does such things it’s the closest I’ll ever get to moving in slow motion.
For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.
Deuteronomy 23:14 NIV
I love capturing His every move; from the subtle and silent victories to the big unimaginable victories. However, in this season God felt distant, yet when He showed up for me, He was tremendous. What you’ve got to learn is even in those moments when God feels far, He’s deliveirng Breakthroughs. God’s always Victorious.
That’s why it’s so important to read your Bible. Your heart lies to you so many times. Replacing your hearts lies with God’s truth will help you. Your heart and mind needs to be silent to see the powerful movement of God. It took another person a year to realise what I was seeing. It’s become our testimony because God later brought us together to pray and see His movement.
That’s why it’s so important to read your Bible. Your heart lies to you so many times. Replacing your hearts lies with God’s truth will help you. Your heart and mind needs to be silent to see the powerful movement of God. It took another person a year to realise what I was seeing. It’s become our testimony because God later brought us together to pray and see His movement.
Thanking God for His patience
God is a wonderful God, and that’s why I love Him like an endless circle. A circle never ends, and I love Him endlessly because why He chooses you or me, I don’t know. However, I do know Hes faithful to your growth.
It was definitely my first time being 25. It was my first time being 28. It was my first time being 30, and I believe God is loving and kind to your growth. He knows everything you’ll experience in those years are unique to you.
I love Him more today because even when I couldn’t understand love, He showered me with faithfulness, provision and love. Why wouldn’t you want to love someone who consistently and without fail wants the best for you
Thanking God for His authority
That’s why seeing His glorious hand moving made me realise I tend to worship the shield God brings to assist me. I was being bullied, and God brought people to protect me.
It’s true on my own, I learned never to give bullies the upper hand. I learned never to cry in front of them. However, God’s guiding Hand taught me the power of forgiveness.
Ill explain later, but when you forgive, God judges according to His will. Whether it’s punishing someone, loving them or answering their prayers, God has no favourites. God can turn Bullies or oppressors into His people. Your job is just to praise God.
Enduring in unkind situations
Still there’s power in trusting God in unkind situations. That’s why in my waiting season I learned that God brings all things. I learned and saw firsthand that God holds all things in heaven and on earth under His dominion.
Firstly it was a first hand experience because I did a joint 21 and 3 day fast. During that experience I saw God break the yoke of depression, anxiety and worthlessness.
I love Him dearly for battling every situation and giving me victory that has come with an blissful and comforting peace. If I had known the power of fasting, I would have done it long ago. Yet again I appreciate the suffering I went through because I wouldn’t understand the infinite power of Jehovah Nissi.
I love You Jehovah Nissi
Consequently, I’m grateful that when I cried asking Him to take away those days of depression, He allowed me to persevere through endurance. He has led me through countless victories. His strength and provision was all I needed. It’s all you need.
Allowing a bitter moment lead to a deeper faith because I read tbe bible more intentionally and I apply the Word to my life. I now fast and pray. I take life breaks. I value rest and I also pray asking God to teach me how to pray. There’s something about a bitter sweet moment that will bring more wisdom. That’s if you surrender your life, mind and heart to God.
Your heart lies to you. That’s a fact. And the first few times, you’ll understand God from your beliefs and words. The way you see the world, love and being reprimanded is the way you’ll see God. It’s only after a waiting season, more testing and endurance that you’ll realise it’s best to see God for what He says He is not your thinking.
Thank You for moulding and strengthening me
So yes I love God because He said no to what I wanted. I love God even more because He said no, but didn’t leave me more forsake. I understand this season God was weaning me off relying on people, but I’m grateful He stayed when everyone left. Whether He purposefully did it, I can appreciate what Joseph said when he reconnected with his brothers.
Joseph said that every hardship he faced wasn’t because of the bad things his family did, but it was to glorify God. The Best moments of this journey was choosing to rest in God’s refuge during bad times. When the bullying intensified, I found peace whenever I prayed more to God. Sometimes I’d pray right in of bullies and find immediate peace.
Other times it wasn’t as easy. I’d wait to get home to cry in His presence. I found there’s power in getting on your knees and praying. I believe I’ve won every victory because first these victories belong to God.
Tears are prayers too
God doesn’t make Bullies. God doesn’t create petty wars among women. God is not the author of confusion; however, when you deliver every petition and prayer to Christ’s throne, you’ll find victory and deliverance.
I believe God sees your every cry. Will you turn to Him? I love God like a circle because His love never ends, and making me more curious as to why He chose me. Once I did ask and He replied “You’re my Child,” now me being hyper didn’t get it.
So Here’s where I missed God’s message. Please bare with me in raising silly moment. I have a baby store, so when I heard that response I started googling baby stuff. I turned away from what God said and thought it must be a thought for my baby shop. Terrible right!
Nonetheless seconds later I realised God had spoken. I am His child. Thank you Lord for calling me Your child.
You’re God’s Child; worthier than rubies
As His child, God will teach you perseverance, so you grow a formidable character. Your confident character comes from your hope in Christ. Even when some insecurities persist, rely and rest in God.
How will you know God’s Unconditional Love without testing? It’s exactly like training; how will you survive an Ironman race without adequate training? I once did a training that was way over my head.
One of the members from the community I joined said the only way to increase my endurance for this type of training is to take GEER. Similarly, when you’re going through deep waters, take on the full Armour of God.
Your life and relationship with God should switch up now and again
Use the tools like prayer, fasting, Praise to break every yoke and build yourself up in Christ. Go deeper into your reading. Whenever your heart lies, understand that double-mindedness is spiritual warefare. That’s why you go deeper with Jehovah Nissi when He banners to bring you victory.
There was a month I laid on the ground in silence. I was desperate for God’s voice. I laid there every morning seeking His voice. It’s until I reread Ester. And then I read a bible study on Ester.
While reading about Ester, I was reminded that God is always working even when you can’t see His hand. Again you should know double-mindedness is a spiritual warfare. I used to have such a bold confidence that blogging is what I’m meant to do.
Prepare for the spiritual warfare of Double-mindedness
However when I took a leap of faith into the unknown I was invaded by thoughts saying I’d fail. This was odd because I did so many campaigns with companies, so where was the failure?
During moments like this, I wanted to see the monetary gain for my work. Since I had denied myself of the comforts of employment, I wanted assurance. Where did these thoughts come from? God will test you until you learn to overcome the urge for double-mindedness. You do this by laying your weaknesses at His throne.
This one I believe takes times. It was not until I read and listened to a sermon by T.D Jakes. He said some of you are asking God for big provisions, but are working like the 3rd servant from Jesus’ parable.
Overcome by building your faith away from fear and toward God’s Holy Power
In the parable, Jesus once said God is like a Master who gave His servants equal investment. The first one tripled his investment. The second did well, but the third servant buried it in a hole.
When I realised I buried my blessing in a hole, I repented and immediately started working. I also did a bible study on double-mindedness and challenged myself to catch the deceitfulness of my heart.
Yes your heart is deceitful, so always pray over what you think is happening. That’s because what you feel is not what God’s doing.
Build your faith up by leaning into God
I also said to God; “I don’t know when You’ll return like the Master did at His home, but please let me work like the second servant.” I wanted to give God my best, and I love God so much for His faithfulness. Your journey with God is yours. I pray this inspires you to seek your own relationship with Christ Jesus.
God is faithful, loving and a wonderful provider. He’ll carry you during grief, when you’re tired and when you’re happy. He’s an awesome God and I love that He isolated me, so no one could see what He was doing. No one understood what I was doing and I love God more for this. It showed me that if I need something, I need to pray to Him.
He gives you everything according to His will. It’s important to say according to His will because I know you’ll have expectations on how your answer should look. However, nothing beats what God gives you.
It may not look like what you imagined, but God’s answers are also unimaginable, wonderful and generational. I’m confident God always refines your prayers, so they match what the Bible says on hope.
I’m grateful God weeded certain things in my life
Im grateful I didn’t receive what I wanted when I wanted because I needed to weed out ideas and people. I have one wonderful woman of God who stayed in the best way. She is what you’ll call a confident because she remained friends with me not because I benefit her, but because we always uplift each other.
Her words are sweet during times of need. God will purify your need to rely on the world. To some extent I did mourn the fake friends I met. I mourned that they were not the dream friends I had in university.
What I did learn is your Friends will influence your future. As a result, I don’t have friends who are like the Pharisees in my inner circle. You can be a coffee friend, or what they say is your public sphere.
Friends will influence your faith
That’s because friends who are like Pharisees believe in every Believable lie expect to glory of God. They want to battle life with their own hands when I’ve seen the power of God. These people will bring you back to double-mindedness, so remove them from your inner circle.
Nonetheless I love God like a circle because there’s no boundaries to its ends. I love Him because He loves you and me unconditionally. I love God because He reprimanded me when I need reminding. I love Him because He shows no favors. You’ve just got to love God enough to want to Peel off what’s bad in your character.
If you’re impatient surrender this to God. If you’re resentful and Unforgiving then Surrendering this to God. There no better life than submitting your life to the Almighty God.
Submit your life to the Most High God, and you’ll love the life you life no matter how it looks. You life is not for people, but to glorify God. I hope you’ll dare to do something beautiful today and love God like a circle.
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