Top Life Lessons on why Battling Life Alone Creates Self-Serving Communities and Bad Encounters

By Zethu Zwane

I believe I can speak about this topic because I’ve been there. I can count myself as someone who’s battled life alone versus letting go and seeing God’s glory. When God withheld certain answered prayers, I learned it’s because the posture of my heart was self-serving. That realization was a hard pill to swallow because like many of you, you don’t start your life plan wanting to be selfish.

Unfortunately the sad reality of life is when you face bullying, rejection and financial issues without seeking God, you’ll become self-serving. Don’t be too hard on yourself yet because these hurdles are an accumulation of childhood traumas, your teenage years and now coming into adulthood.

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At every difficult turn all you wanted to do was protect yourself. However, you’ll also come to realise that we all define protection differently. That’s what happened when I sat down for 10 minutes to watch my bullies. Greatest perspective switch was staring at people in the eyes. It was to hold the position and just with people unfold in through their eyes.

Valuable blog posts to motivate you move away from battling life alone and choose God as your sole Saviour and authority

Eyes reveal our deepest yearnings, but they also show what creates a self-serving nature

Now depending on your culture, staring at people in their eyes is disrespectful. Yet I had to do it because each encounter revealed a different story. Their eyes exposed feelings of jealousy, insecurity, fear or selfish ambition. A lot of the times, the bullies I faced were battling over resources, career, relationships and trophies.

The things we idolize are not always sinful in and of themselves. In fact, they are often good things which have been given as gifts from God. The problem comes when we forget the Giver and instead worship the gift.
By Jessica Udall from “5 Things Christians Need to Know about Idolatry“

You see this is what happens when you view the Lord God as a secondary help to getting ahead. What’s more, God calls us to wait while the world endorses fast paced living. It’s inevitable youll fall trap to the loud and pervasive memorable messages of the world.

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We’ve all fallen trap trap the ideas of the world. Sadly majority of these messages are constructed for an “us vs them,” or the in-group members. Humans don’t do we’ll with a Godly equality. And the recent burnings, robberies all reflect what happens when you choose self-serving protection over God’s timing, plan, or will for you life. It’s sad this cry has turned into scheming and bullying.

I learned this when friends came into my life under the pretext of help. Yet the words they uttered reflected someone who wanted to destroy my confidence in order to take the dream. How does that even work?

What happens when people use people to get ahead

It’s true I don’t condone this, but I have come to understand someone who’d fight you to get ahead at the workplace. I’ve come to know people who pretend to have virtues, but end of stealing from you. However, what about friends you belittle your dreams to get ahead? There are friends who diminish your confidence to get ahead. Once more you’ll find the full story within their eyes.

They have a hunger deeply seated in their eyes to survive. They hate the economic situation; joblessness, unemployment and lack of opportunity. Instead of praying to God, they’ve resorted to manipulation and deceitful promises. The Psychology Today also says self-serving people will project their insecurities or faults onto you.

Projection takes place when a person substitutes his thoughts, emotions, or ideas for those of another person. Impotent personalities may do this in unique ways. They can project their inertness and deficiencies onto others, accusing other people of not doing enough or caring enough.
By Christine B.L. Adams M.D. from “Centered Personalities Can Create Confusion”

Simultaneously I wholeheartedly understand it’s difficult to forgive, but you need to forgive such moments because every it only reveals how much more we need Christ Jesus. The anxieties of this life will be solved by you and I. Alone you can’t see the future like The Alpha and Omega does. God, as the omnipresent, exists on all plains; future, present and eternity.

Self-serving behaviors leads to betrayal and seperates people

As a result what good does it bring to manipulate friends to get ahead? It’s not only friends, you’ll meet neighbours who destroy crops or you’ll meet strangers who steal.

All of these individuals have defined how they’ll protect themselves from life’s hardships. Many times their definitions are different to yours. Yet you’re still the same as them because as long as that self-serving nature breathes nobody wins. This is what God came to address.

If someone in your life has a pattern of playing the victim, it may feel confusing and frustrating. You’re not alone and there are ways you can cope […] Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition, often linked with a “victim mentality.”
By Hilary I. Lebow from; “How People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) Play the Victim“

Again It’s true your hardships hold credible reasons why you’re overly protective, but they also encourage a world blind by selfish ambition. At a certain point I sat at a table and saw death. Everyone was counting the seconds to leave, but no one was taking the topic of discussion seriously.

Self-serving problem-solving leads to darkness

This is another downfall of walking in darkness. You’ll miss seeing how our desires can actually work together for the greater good. Unfortunately we’re not there at the moment. It was a shock to hear someones home burned and no one went to help them. This is unlike my community.

The apostle John taught that God is light: “This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth
From “What is spiritual darkness?”

A must Read: When people battle life alone, it creates cities like Nonevah where success is not always good success. It’s actually heaping sins against itself. Read now and Learn why slow Godly living is key

This last example hit the community hard because when we saw fire at our neighbours house, we ran with buckets of water. We were there from midnight till 2a.m putting out fires. That’s just how you’re suppose to live when you’re living in a community. That’s what I was taught about living in a village.

Sin darkens our understanding and destroys our spiritual sight, cloaking us in deep darkness: “But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble”
From “What is spiritual darkness?”

So what happened? Or what’s happening? This blog is going to be a dual approach because I’m unpacking people who take matters in their own hands and the person who gets affected. This is a conversation about people living in darkness, and for the other person who needs to forgve those people living in darkness.

Why are we here?

It’s been a pressing topic that keeps coming back to me. I’ve been loving God like a circle, but people’s self-will keeps coming back to mind. That’s because I understood that God allowed certain things to take place like He did with Job; However, I’m also aware that malicious actions are also a reflection of an individual’s beliefs. For instance Satan didn’t enter Judas until the appointed time.

The way of Cain refers to any individual who attempts to approach God on his or her own terms rather than on God’s terms.
By Path to Victory from; “Six Characteristics Of The Way Of Cain“

This verse is one of the many verses in the Bible that always causes me to pause. It shows the overarching governance of God’s power and authority. It also reminds you that God’s power and His ways are mysterious because He literally sat next to Judas and allowed the devil to come in, inorder to fulfil His will.

Just as the natural laws of aerodynamics and physics governed the invisible forces controlling that jetliner, so there are spiritual laws that are invisible but very real that govern our approach to God. We can say, “I’ll approach God in my way,” but the result will be spiritual disaster
By Path to Victory from; “Six Characteristics Of The Way Of Cain“

While simultaneously celebrating this benevolent power, I can’t help but to also glorify His ways. That’s because such verses remind you that whatever passed you; whatever destruction, whatever illness, malice or problem does not come close to Christ Jesus.

What’s the spirit of Cain versus those walking in the Light

He died and took the keys from hades! Not only this but Satan is restricted to certain boundaries, and that’s why it said God will not lead you to trials you can’t handle. Well you pray this prayer that God will lead you through trials you can handle. That’s also why the Bible says that Yahweh is with you in deep waters.

Unfortunately in my loving God, I cant help but turn to the malicious acts I’ve witnessed. Judas was already self-serving and that’s why he stole money. Judas had something within him that made it easier for the devil to use. So when I was trying to respectfully address the malicious behavior I’ve witnessed, I was reminded of the song; were walking in the light if God.

“We are walking in the light of God, we are walking in the light of God,” kept playing after sicerely asking God how do I address every betrayal, oppression, and malicious act I’ve seen. Ironically hearing this song gave me peace because it allows you and I to unpack the dark sides of battling life alone.

Some christians still view the Bible as a story not living and a double edge sword

While others choose to wait on God, know there’s still a multitude of people battling life alone and taking matters into ther hands. People are desperate, and that desperation comes with a self-serving nature like scheming. At first when I realised these fake friends have come to destroy my dreams, I was angry.

Yet it’s a very strange time to have friends and neighbours. The ones who are good, you’ll appreciate, and those who come to do harm you forgive. You’ll need to Forgive them because we’ve all faced a time when we chased an idol or trophy. Since they’re blinded by desperation, they really can’t see the disappointment and betrayal they bring.

Still, it seems like too many people have taken matters into their own hands. There’s stealing, burning, lying, corruption and bribes. Too many people have self-proclaimed themselves judge and juror. That’s why when we found out someone stole, I was not upset. Instead I’m tired.

Seeing this influx of good and bad waves requires you to turn to God

It’s tiring to see the world clawing it’s way toward something. That’s because people always mistaken me for having something when I lacked so much. As a result, I’ve met too many people who’ve come to deplete my emotional capacity in search of these riched. Then when they find nothing, they abruptly leave until another opportunity avails.

It’s true we’re living in recession, yet what happened to asking? It’s exhausting because desperation is trying to steal hope. Witnessing self-serving nature has been the most exhausting act I see. Consequently, it’s also the reason why I understand the need for forgiveness. Blinded by desperation, people will act unlike themselves.

Have you ever met someone then 1-3 years later you need a reintroduction because they’ve changed? Those who change ade few, but forgiveness is still crucial. And the only turn you’ll ever need is to come to Jesus. He’s the only One who’ll give you rest when the world seems burdensome.

It’s okay to recognize you’re tired, but turn to God and not your situation

Nonetheless, I felt like an innocent child who’s been told scary stories. Now the world seemed unstable. Yet again this thought only came for a second because I remembered a couple of things. In this season I’ve seen good people and ill-intended people act bad. It makes it difficult to judge someone when your community feels like a wave of anxiety.

That’s the biggest reason why I switched postures in my thinking. I also believe when you switch your perspective, it will greatly help you forgive and heal from unfriendly moments.

By seeing good people do desperate things, you’ll realize that many communities are anxious. I met people who were usually pure in heart now acting like those fake friends. This cognitive dissonance will lead you to seeing that in times like recessions and a pandemic, hardships can get the best of us.

Memorable Messages limit your willingness to submit to God

Seeing good people battling alone as opposed to choosing God is a humbling reminder. Life is fragile and it sometimes crushes into unforgiveable waves. Life is unpredictable, so turn to forgiveness when you feel you’re being led astray.

What’s more seeing desperate people is your reminder to bear with one another; however, what about those who’ve always battled life a long time? There’s still people who know God. They used to been Christians or who are Christians, yet choose to battle life’s problems without God.

You’ll hear people repeatedly use memorable messages like “it’s rush hour here, so who are you waiting for,” when you tell them you’re waiting on God. They’ll reprimand you for being an adult child, but still living at home. They don’t acknowledge that your life plan and theirs is governed by God. Instead they’ll connotate your failures to this so-called waiting.

Let’s be honest, we don’t have the patience to wait

Not everyone has picked God. There’s also a lot of people who choose God, but insist on battling life alone. They don’t understand that by choosing to battle life alone, they’ll carry even heavier burdens. These burdens are exasperating. They burn deeply into your shoulders slowing your every move.

Battling life alone comes with a hefty price. Now as a follow-up to what I said before about people who are like the Pharisees, these people know God’s power, but they’re hiding like Adam and Eve. They’ve closed their hearts to God, and they chase after man-made paths.

Yes it’s true there’s many people who’ve succeeded without submitting their lives to God, but how much more successful would they be if they knew God’s power? Dont get ke wrong, following suchba season suh as Job, I understand Jesus came to release you from spiritual entanglements.

This life is a life of endurance and perseverance not a quick fix

As a result, God also said rich people will have a harder time time submit and surrender all, because money is so tempting. Jesus spent a great deal on this topic. Yet again as someone who battled life alone and then chose God, I know firsthand the power of God.

Without God I wouldn’t have seen the Job season like I did. Even with a little faith, deep down I knew what God is doing is molding me to trust Him in deep and intrinsic ways. Conversely, people who battle life alone will never get to experience the power of the Holy Spirit.

During these years in deep waters, I got to learn to be strong and courageous. And this was not by my own strength, but by the strength of God, which covered me when I needed Him. Likewise, God is close to call those who Love Him and call upon His name.

Don’t be insecure

Don’t feel less than if you still don’t understand God’s love. This used to bother me before; However, know that whenever you feel resistance toward God, it’s spiritual warfare. The enemy will try consume you with all kinds if ideas about God’s love, so you need to fight against it.

Instead of hiding away from God’s love, lean more into His character. The only way to know Him is by reading the bible, and supplementing to increase your growth by following over credible Christians. We write about our testimonies every day because we’ve been where you are.

Yet the little to big faith we had revealed more and more of God’s character. Knowing God’s character will move you away from darkness. Daring to let go ine battle will show you there’s better than God’s victory. And the more you see the fragrance of His power, the more you’ll love seeing Him deliver you.

God is intentional

I also say witnessing God’s power is seeing a fragrance because it’s so powerful you can’t quantify God’s power. He’s also mysterious because we understand God through the bible. Like why did He allow the devil to enter Judas? It’s because He was fulfilling His promises and we were given Center stage to read this.

Read my Reflections on Genesis Chapter 2 and how God loves and provides a place for you

However in your own life, that’s where faith comes in because you won’t see behind-the-scene steps leading to your breakthrough. Yet this is also why I love God like a circle. I understand intrinsically why Joseph burst out crying the way he did. I wholefully understand why He says He doesn’t hold grudges because they might have done it for harm, but God turned it for His glory.

That’s why for you, I pray you’ll celebrate when God withholds something. Likewise when you chose to battle life alone, when God said no choose to work with Him to see your idols and trophies. God, as the Most High God, has every right to withhold something from you because He knows far exceedingly than you and I imagine.

So stay in peace and live a life of Breakthroughs

When you faithfully choose God by surrendering your idols, heart, mind and spirit spiritual chains break. Know this; you have or live a slow and intentional life because every step unfolds areas you still need to Christ. You have spiritual chains that are in yor journey, and that God has called you to conquer through Faith, belief, endurance and perseverance.

Alone I tell you it would be hard. Life is hard, but with Christ, Life is magnificent. You become what He calls you; more than connquere and Victorious due to His mounting power. Banner around the Lord in everything you do and witness as yokes of resistance flee, chains of lack break and generational chains demolish.

Finally your time is not the worlds time. You don’t have to have what people have right now. Be in the presence of God. No matter what memorable messages you see, choose God and live a life of Breakthroughs. A life Breakthroughs is untangling emotional, spiritual and physical chains that limit your growth and stumble your purpose.

Through belief, and endurance you’ll find victory, God’s love and intentional provision. There’s no greater power than the Lord of Heavens Hosts, and I pray for the day you choose to stop battling alone. Only then will we see less darkness, and more light in our beautifully complex world.