By Zethu Zwane
It feels like centuries since I’ve written a blog on dating, but something interesting has sparked today’s blog. I was recently watching a cheesy movie, and I couldn’t help feel uncomfortable. So often we glorify the idea that it’s okay for women to have 2 potential soulmates. Too many romantic shows or movies depict this idea that it’s okay for you to be in a relationship, but if your old flame comes back you can go back.
An open marriage is generally defined as a marriage in which one or both spouses are allowed by the other spouse to have sex with other people. The two primary types of open marriages are polyamory and swinging.
By Got Questions. Your Questions Biblical answers : What does the Bible say about an open marriage
Or the movie will introduce a new guy who’s the complete opposite to the main character’s career-idolising boyfriend. When you don’t take these movies seriously, it’s easy to see these shows as a light-hearted movie. A good way to sit back and unwind. However, I was so curious about this because I’ve seen how women would fight for this toxic belief.
This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission. I only recommend products and services I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are my own. Read the full privacy policy here.
Relationship costs include feelings of lost personal time and an increased emphasis on a partner’s unattractive qualities, explains Jeremy Osborn, study author and assistant professor of communications at Albion
By Monica Rozenfeld: TV Romance Can Affect Real-Life Marriage
There was a dating TV show with an overly possessive woman. However, as you know TV will turn overly possessive to committed. What shocked me about the outcome is the guy received a lot of heat on X because he chose someone else. He felt suffocated, and the world shunned him and berated him on X for it. Honestly if someone is overall committed like screaming at me to get married after a month of talking, I’d break up with that.
World dating has a s of silencing 1 and glorifying another
Any possessive tendencies always made me anxious, so I understand where the guy was coming from. You’re entitled to “this conversation makes you feel suffocated,” and you’ll be surprised but I hate it when guys talk about having children. This is counter to what some women love hearing from men, but I’m more focused on who the person is in all seasons.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:28 NIV
I find it more important to know how he reacts during hardships, good days and boring days. However, that’s a topic for another day. Right now we’ve built these unbalanced cultures that shuns women for this and shuns men for that. And all of this has been getting my attention.
Yet today the biggest 1 that’s been getting my attention is this glorified idea that it’s okay to be “one to the next,” when your relationship isn’t giving. Then the second issue I’m seeing across TV is single parents having open serial relationships, but never considering marriage.
The Bible speaks of sex within marriage as pure (Hebrews 13:4). The Bible speaks of sex outside of marriage as immoral and adulterous (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18; 10:8; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).
By Got Questions. Your Questions Biblical answers : What does the Bible say about an open marriage
Don’t underestimate the power of memorable messages on TV
Never underestimate how much TV can influence your views. The more you drum these ideas in your head, the more you’ll turn to them faster than you can turn to biblical truths. Now I don’t know whether it’s a sexual sin for single parents who won’t marry, but will live in a relationship like a marriage. I’m open to your comments below if you know a blogger who discusses this for single parents.
God is the one who defines what marriage is and what adultery is. God, in His Word, has declared sex outside of marriage to be adultery (Exodus 20:14). A spouse’s giving permission to sin does not overrule God’s Law. We do not have the authority to create exceptions to what God has declared to be sinful.
By Got Questions. Your Questions Biblical answers : What does the Bible say about an open marriage
I’ll focus more on singles who are more easily influenced by TV or movie romance. The website For Your Marriage said that if you tend to believe how TV or movies depict romance, you’ll be more easily influenced by their ideals. Since women also love to say; ”I want to be fought for; a man must fight for me,” how easy it is to fall into these worlds traps.
A new study in Mass Communication and Society surveyed 392 people who had been married for an average of 19 years. As it turns out, the more realistic you find depictions of TV romance, the less likely you are to be wholly committed to your actual marriage
By David Gibson: Can You Believe It? How TV Portrays Love
It’s also important to note this because these days people are VERY relaxed about sexual sin. The lines have been blurred and entrenched in contradicting ideas that it’s hard to say whether sex outside of marriage is a sin. Yet it is. Anyway if you’re wondering why it’s bad to have these nonchalant ideas around having 2 men, read why it’s against God’s kingdom.
Open-relationships encourages lust and lack of commitment.
What I’ve always found fascinating about men in my culture is how sensitive they become when they hear their girlfriend has optionally cheated. I’ve used emotional cheating to magnify just how contradictory their beliefs are. I’ve found men who sit in dark rooms all “depressed,” angry or bitter, yet they also have multiple girlfriends.
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.
Proverbs 6:32 NIV
Yet the truth out of this kind of open-relationship or having options increases lust. Once anyone has convinced themselves that it’s okay to cheat and “keep their options open,” that person only learns to lust after someone else. They’ll never learn commitment. The greatest fallacy about this casual dating, is it’s destroying God’s promise to bless families.
How can God bless a relationship with a foundation built on lust and adultery? You first see God’s promises to family with Abram, Isaac, Jacob then Joseph. The finer details matter before you see God’s blessing being highlighted among societies. The daily lineage matters, and that’s why God has many provisions for the Israelites.
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.
Proverbs 6:25 NIV
You may ignore your lustful desires or open relationships, but you’re carving generational chains
You also see the seed of generational chains because Abraham said his wise is his sister. Then Abraham’s son Isaac also said his wife is his sister. There were divisions between sons and so on. Now when you’ve built your relationships on lust, you’re not only creating generational chains, but you’ve disrupted God’s familial provisions. It’s easy to make selfish decisions saying you’re expressing your womanhood.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV
You must be empowered, and part of that empowerment is the ability to have 2 men. Sadly this generational chain is one God also confronted when He came to earth as the Son of Man. The story of the Samaritan woman is about adultery. Unfortunately women living like her were shunned, but today they’re heroines. It’s amusing when it fulfils your idols and desires, but it’s fracturing the fabric of society because these generational chains will harm societies.
Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
Proverbs 2:18 NIV
It’s true for so many areas of your communities. Areas that have a lot of crime tend to suffer from community traumas as a result of the conflict the child has to watch. A son who watches an adulterous father, absorbs his mother’s insecurities with relationships. Unfortunately he’ll also cheat in his relationships, feeling overwhelming insecurity when his girlfriend threatens to leave.
Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? [29] So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.
Proverbs 6:28-29 NIV
Adultery and open-relationship is not empowerment
Too often men and women say these open-relationships are empowerment; they don’t want to be tied down. What I’ve found about speaking to both men and women is there’s always darkness. If you allow them to speak long enough, there’s always anxiety and fear in both of them. And I don’t care how confident or arrogant either sounds, the truth will always show on their body.
Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. [34] For jealousy arouses a husband’s fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.
Proverbs 6:33-34 NIV
There’s no escaping when your body gives you away. That’s because no one wants to be the one dumped, yet today’s culture speaks of “openness and empowerment.” haven’t you for a moment that these open relationships sow generational seeds of bitterness, lust, anxiety and fear?
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [26] to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
Ephesians 5:25-26 NIV
Anyway the other contested area is stability. And I’m not referring to financial stability,but more of emotional and spiritual stability that comes from a monogamous relationship. I did a bible study on family recently, and was pleasantly surprised. It said the man should be the priest of the family; not just the head of the household.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Ephesians 5:23 NIV
Godly men are supposed to be the head and priest
I’ll be honest with this one; it shocked me the most. I attend a church with a majority of women and children, so the idea of a playful man is as mysterious as a unicorn. Yet such Godly men exist. As a result women shouldn’t be the only ones praying for the relationship. Men are encouraged if not appointed to pray for their relationships. Now if this is the case won’t it be difficult to pray when you’re in an open relationship?
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:32 NIV
The lack of commitment is what I’m challenging. What are you praying for if your commitment levels are at zero and lust is at 98%? I’ll give you grace with the 2%… just kidding. Honestly, however, it’s impossible to pray when men have this idea that it’s their privilege to pursue countless women. Then women now believe they can drop a bad man for a good 1 anytime. All I’m seeing is confusion and a distraction.
Being told women can’t choose reminded me of this area in the Bible
Reason being when I decided to remain single till marriage, I heard countless men saying they’re the head of the family, so how is a woman choosing who she marries. It’s always refreshing and fascinating how society quickly forgets important pieces to the same sentence. The bible encourages men to be BOTH the head and the priest; how can he be the priest if he has countless women?
For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.
James 2:11 NIV
It’s these moments where society is amusing. That’s because they’ll endorse the man as the head, hence why he has multiple girlfriends, but what about his responsibility as the priest? You see these are the moments when TV will have you in a twist, wondering how toxic dating cultures are glorified.
I say this because even the more innocent or conservative TV channels love this open-relationship idea. They still endorse the idea it’s okay to move onto the next good thing. One way or another there’s no escaping this idea of open-relationships. Too many TV shows pin 1 man against another or 1 woman against another.
She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
Proverbs 5:6 NIV
Today is your opportunity to change
I’ve got to admit when the guy was attacked on X, I really saw myself in that moment. Sometimes society will silence you with certain cultural beliefs, and mine was a woman can’t choose who she marries. That’s why by being reminded of that moment, I’m reminded that most TV shows encourage open-relationships.
You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Malachi 2:14 NIV
Also motivated to write this because I’ve been watching thousands of people say God’s name for 5 minutes on YouTube before opening talking about their sexual partners. I understand that everyone is on a different growth with God, but I couldn’t let go that they’re still misleading. That’s also why hope you’ll consider what I’ve said today; sex outside of marriage is a sin, and open-relationships is a continued sin.
Put away these ideas that TV gives you, or consider watching other shows if you find yourself easily influenced. That’s because the person you’re watching on YouTube or TV is on a personal journey. They may not know that sexual sin is a SIN. They also don’t know that it’s an add or subtract from the bible. And we admit here that saying sex before marriage is okay is a subtracting.
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
Malachi 2:15 NIV
Stop taking away Verses from the Bible
Saying sex before marriage is okay is subtracting from the bible because you’re disregarding countless bible verses where Paul spoke about this. Then you’ve also forgotten Song of Songs where the lover’s anger burns against his adulterous wife. Consider what I’ve also said above that open-relationships are also causing generational chains.
It’s okay to live in your lust, but what about your children? What about your society? I find it fascinating when people say Jesus cleansed me, so I have no sins, but then why is the devil still after the covenant marriage? Remember marriage is one of God’s eternal and powerful agreements. It’s the social fabric that continues your family’s blessings.
So if that is the choice you’ll take, admit to destroying the social fabric. I believe in living honestly even when the truth is shameful. Yet that’s what many toxic dating movements are doing. It’s so selfish to allow fictional ideas to steal your blessings.
Not Just your blessings, your families. And not just your families, but your communities. And not just your community, but your society. Instead of believing in open-relationships, I hope that you’ll consider building relationships based on commitment and lasting relationships.
The ONLY relationship resource you need right now
That’s why I’ve dedicated a Pinterest board teaching you how to have a healthy and Generational upon generational relationship. I hope you’ll enjoy it because it’s easy to read lists on “Good relationships vs bad” or it has “codependent relationships vs healthy relationships.”
you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:20 NIV
These are all in list form making it easy for you to download and memorise. There’s also cool couple date ideas that will fill up 52 weeks or 365 days! I’m just saying you’ll be calendar ready to create meaningful and lasting moments that build upon commitment. Finally, I love fantasy shows and movies, but I won’t be running off to New Zealand to find Hobbits. So don’t always believe everything you read or watch about relationships. Seek God first.
Black Couture |Health & Wellness lifestyle blog 